On a plane to London.

I’m on a plane to London. Virgin Atlantic and I’m ecstatic. It’s turbulent as hell but after talking to Chris Catania today who works at Pratt and Whitney he has assured me that no plane has ever crashed due to turbulence only malfunction. I’m blown away by the service of this plane as well as the airport. Upon arrival, I had a smooth drop off and the dog in the TSA line had to sniff me twice because of an Asian woman about my age pet the dog so he didn’t get a chance to sniff me. I farted in his face for sniffing me twice. I boarded very quickly and once on the plane I sat alone in my row of seats. Seat 68c. An elderly couple approached a bit later. The wife in the couple aggressively smashed aside all other bags in the above storage compartment and under her breath murmured some bullshit. From here the plane took off reached altitude and that women were sitting just to my left in the middle of three seats. Once she had her seat she was kind and courteous...so I thought. The young man in front of her leaned his seat back a little and she was again outraged. She immediately exclaimed “How will I eat? How will I put down my tray with this man in my lap?” and she began pushing his headrest for the better of a half of an hour. Finally, the young man said please stop pushing my seat or I will get the flight attendant. At this point, it seemed that nothing could make this woman happy yet here I am a pig in shit sipping on my free ginger ale 30,000 thousand feet in the air watching a documentary on children who survived the holocaust. I am elated and better yet entertained by how miserable the women on my left is. In the next ten minutes we got our food and little did I know I was in for the biggest surprise yet. We hit turbulence, chu my cheese bounce house-sized turbulence mid-dinner. It was making my neck shvitz. The pilot asked the cabin crew to take their seats multiple times and who in this entire plane is the only one amused by this......it was the old British she-devil herself on the left of me. She was cackling and ended up dropping her glass of wine. It was hilarious I damn near couldn’t breathe out of pure enjoyment. Who knew someone so angry at the world could get so happy over a bumpy ride. Now back to my holocaust movie there was a woman taken from Germany on a train to England to stay in a refugee camp for children. Her parents had to stay in Germany and of all the children playing and having fun at this camp she couldn’t shake the pain of missing her parents. So this badass little 10-year-old girl decided that she would knock doors like a fucking dish network salesman and ask for people to sponsor her parents so they could come to England and leave Germany. It really puts success and goals and life and love into perspective hearing that. Imagine trying to save your parents from certain death. I’m sure there isn’t anything you wouldn’t do to save them. Now imagine applying that to your life today. How fucking bad do you want to make your dreams come true? I can assure you and myself it is nowhere near as bad as that little girl trying to save her parents from a concentration camp. Fucking aye this documentary has tugged at my heart and put so much into perspective. Now I’m off to start a new job in fucking England and I feel great just to be breathing.