Photo Journal #16
I woke up with thoughts again—wild realizations and dreams of experiences yet to come. It’s funny how fast 30 years can go by, yet how long it feels at the same time. Just 100 years ago, I might have had a house and four kids by this age. Despite this, the inner child in me remains, just in a different way. I can feel my priorities shifting. I'm becoming more determined to trust my creative abilities to figure things out. Recently, I've realized that almost everything is “figureoutable.”
This realization leads me to my photo show and why I decided to do it. I wanted to bring my community together and promote my work, but in hindsight, I see that I also did it to prove to myself that I could overcome this challenge with little help.
From the inception of the idea to the date of the opening, I had only three weeks. That left me with very little time to curate my photos, edit everything, assess my budget, decide how to hang the pieces, find sponsors, set prices for prints, and figure out how to deliver the prints to customers. The list of details you have to consider when having a show is seemingly endless.
One of the most challenging aspects was hanging the prints on the walls without frames and without damaging the prints. Faced with this challenge and just a few hours left to hang the images, I figured out how to make a template using plastic and a Sharpie to know where to place the nails in the wall for each print size. I used nails and magnets to hold the images up without puncturing the paper.
These challenges were the most rewarding part of the entire process of having a photo show, more so than people seeing the work. It was a bit of medicine for my self-esteem at a time when I needed it most. Overcoming these self-imposed challenges reminded me of the strength and creativity I have within me.
Now, I ask myself, what other obstacles can I put in front of me that I can use my creativity to overcome? There is immense satisfaction in facing challenges head-on and finding ways to overcome them. What challenges can you impose on yourself and face with determination?
Using your skills to trade: Photo Journal #15
A few months ago, Meg and I left our apartment to spend a month in Mexico. We weren't sure what we'd do afterward, but we knew NYC wasn't aligning with our family values at the moment. Don’t get me wrong I love NYC, but that's a story for another time. Since late February, and for lack of better words, we've been living like nomads, facing challenges that have pushed us to adapt and learn quickly, which was the main reason we left.
We wanted to break free from stagnant routines that no longer served us, and this lifestyle has forced us to grow. It reminds me of my college days when I had to be resourceful as a freelancing student. Recently, I started writing again and reflected on those times. I remembered a simple email I used to get new things I needed for camping trips that I couldn’t afford. “Dear Company, I’m a photographer based in Brooklyn New York and I’m going on a camping trip to ______. I absolutely love X product and I think it would fit perfectly in this photo series. If you’re interested here’s a mood board of my work that shows what I’m thinking for this shoot.” And as long as you set clear expectations (ex. 10 photos and an IG post) and over deliver on that promise you now have that thing you wanted and you may even have a new client.
It's been a while since I traded for anything because I got tired of people not paying me for my work and assuming I'd shoot photos for products. While living off trades isn't feasible, it can be a great way to supplement your work and build your portfolio or get things you need. For example, I needed beer for my photo show. Instead of spending $1500, I traded social media posts with a local brewery, which supplied 240 beers for the opening reception, leaving us with plenty of leftovers and happy guests.
The key takeaway here is that we are surrounded by products at all times, even in the middle of the woods as the pictures below show. It’s okay to take advantage of your off time to get some things you may need in exchange for your skills.
If you're in a creative field or own your own business, there are always opportunities to barter, especially in your personal projects.
Photo Journal #14
Life lately has been a time for change.
Photo Journal #13
Yesterday, I used an AI image editor to create alternate versions of my photos. The results were both amazing and terrifying. Some images, especially those with faces, ended up looking like horror film stills. I had the most success with obscure, blurry images that didn't prominently feature faces. Nonetheless, waiting for the new images to develop was enjoyable; it reminded me of waiting for film to be developed.
What really impressed me was that Dall-e, the software that generated the images from my photos, provided four variants of each image. Seeing them together made them feel even more powerful. This highlights the potential of repeating the same image with multiple subjects and having a well-defined process.
The color accuracy was also impressive, and I will definitely take away color palettes from Dall-e's interpretation of my colors.
While this was a fun experiment, I don't see myself using AI in my commercial photography anytime soon. However, I do believe that AI will soon become a mainstay in commercial advertising and the art world.
In each slide the first images are interpretation of my photos made by Dall-e.
In the second slide is a screen shot of my reference images.
Photo Journal #12
It’s been a 4 months since I’ve last posted on here which feels strange because I used to post on here nearly everyday.
I like the idea of keeping this going though because it serves as a time capsule for my work.
If you take the time and dig back far enough you’ll see a younger more eager photographer’s work and part of me misses that struggle.
There were days when I would work back to back manual labor jobs and just have an hour of sunlight left to take my photos for the day and I’d never miss photographing that last hour of daylight.
As you grow in this career you start to see your other contemporaries making unspoken rules for your work to take place.
For example magazines, agencies, and other creatives often won’t work with you if you don’t have a full team of people to accomplish your vision.
I understand this but I also love the idea of focusing on the individuals story and who they are as a person when I am taking their photo.
As corny as it sounds photography is a dance and when you have 20-30 people on a shoot that dance has a lot of moving parts in order for it to work properly.
So for me I like to take each shoot as it is somethings need 50 people some things need 2 you can’t put a one size fits all blanket over your process.
All the best,
Atticus
Photo Journal #11
Photo Journal #10
Orchard Street Runners 10/14/22
Photo Journal #9
High school football
Photo Journal #8
The start of a longer series on working dogs.
Photo Journal #7
It’s always hurt my confidence.
Comments made with negativity directed at me.
I’ve always pined over them to see what I could fix and each time it chiseled off a piece of who I was.
Actions are either made out of Love or out of Fear; in those times, I would respond with fear.
Afraid to lose the approval of others so I would regress back into to a shell too tight for my being.
Finally, in my awareness, I no longer lust for the approval of those individuals projecting their insecurities on others.
When you respond with love you feel loved.
When you respond with fear you get fear.
I know which side of the coin I want to land on.
Photo Journal #6
Reminding myself to enjoy the often overlooked moments in life.
Photo Journal #5
The heat wave rolls in and stays long enough to chew on it.
Photo Journal #4
I don’t know if I’ve ever felt true hate but I know I’ve felt true love.
It doesn’t leave much room for other feelings.
I first understood these conflicting feelings when I was a young boy.
I’d spend hours thinking about my father’s killer and how I’d wish that moment didn’t happen.
Very quickly I realized I would drive myself insane wishing for my dad to come back to life because things don’t work that way and thankfully these mental bouts opened me up to a lot of love (Followed by my mom’s amazing breakfast feasts every weekend.)
As I’m nearing 30 I look back on my life and I can see how cyclical things are.
For the first time in a while, I’m experiencing hate again in some form or another, maybe it’s jealousy or maybe I’m annoying who knows but the bottom line is I have some people in my life that don’t like me and they have made it a point to make that evident.
What hurts the most is that I care for these people and I think we can all relate to that feeling but the bottom line is people like this are toxic.
The best way I can put it is shown in a study done by Yale.
They asked a graduating class in a survey if they would rather take a job after graduation where everyone in their graduating class makes $400,000 per year or they make take a job paying $300,000 and the rest of their graduating class makes $100,000.
Over 90% of the students chose the latter which blew my mind because even if I don’t like you I still hope that you achieve all that you want to in life even if that means you’re doing better than me.
Even now it is still astounding to me how jealous people can be and thankfully I attribute the overwhelming love my mother gave me to my sense of security.
As disheartened as I am to have to deal with 2 people that are really pestering me I am really grateful that I don’t feel the need to hurt people because of my insecurities.
The reason I’m writing about this here is to remind myself to kill people with kindness which is something I wouldn’t have done as a child.
I was once extremely reactive and I’m sure I can still be at times but I’m trying to remind myself that life is a marathon.
By killing these people with kindness now I see no improvement, for lack of better words I’m still getting shit on but in the future, I hope the kindness will float to the top.
Photo Journal #3
Photo Journal #2
Photo Journal #1
There’s nothing better than a Sunday with my girls.
One takes "Tulum"
Since I became a photographer back in 2013 I’ve always felt that I have to constantly make photographs.
I’ve always loved that feeling because it drives me to make some of my best work but for this trip I really wanted to put myself first and my photography second.
It’s been years since I’ve had a real vacation because I’m usually photographing endlessly while I’m traveling.
With the idea of actually having no plans and no goals other than to enjoy myself my friends and I went to Tulum for a very hectic week in the sun lol.
The photos I took in Tulum were almost all only “one takes” meaning I only took one frame of a particular subject and if I nailed it great and if it came out like shit then oh well.
There was something freeing about switching up how I shoot and also having no pressure to deliver these images to a client.
This trip was just for me to enjoy being in the moment and not just watching the moments happen.
Hopefully in the near future I can find sometime to write down some of those memories for you guys here.
All the best,
Atticus