I wake up most mornings and stretch my legs on a walk to get my iced coffee. Every time I do this I leave my phone at home so I can have some time with my first thoughts of each day. This morning after a small disagreement with my girlfriend I thought about what has kept our relationship healthy. In the past, it wasn't always this way. Throughout college, we would react to our problems rather than communicate through them. Sitting on that thought I noticed how much I hate my own reactiveness. I don't have sudden outbursts of anger as frequently as I did as a child but when they do arise I feel terrible about myself. This brings up an unspoken rule I've always had for myself and that is to stay away from overly reactive, and grudge-holding people. There is no grudge worth holding. Being pissed off at someone only hurts you. It's a feeling inside of yourself emotionally shutting yourself off from the world that only you can feel. Wouldn't it be better to just not give a fuck about that person and to go get some ice cream with people that actually care about you? Now think about someone being pissed off at you, holding a grudge, and reacting viciously to everything you do or say. The truth is they are hurting themselves more than they are hurting you. Do you want that same self-deprecating action to be apart of your life? Fuck no. Communication is the only way to understand each other's pain points in any relationship. Has reacting, holding grudges, and being pissed off ever made anyone any happier?