Over the past year and a half I’ve had more ups and downs then I can’t count. I would say mainly downs but that is such a false perception of all that I have accomplished. I’ve been trying to find a way to navigate the lows so that I am not absolutely crushed every time a deal falls through or when that paycheck I was counting on from the photographer I was assisting comes 5 months late. Finally, I am understanding that the thoughts that flood to your head when something goes wrong do not mean that you are in the belly of the freelance roller coaster. It does not mean that you suck. Your brain when you’re doing goodwill lie straight to your face and tell you that your shit doesn’t stink and when you aren’t doing so great it will tell you that you are worthless. The key for me has been learning to separate my being from my thoughts and it has allowed me to take more action in my life. It hasn’t easy because I have always created out of self-deprecation. Whenever I would look at my work and hate it I would be fueled to make more work and to get it right. Now my goals are to do that in a healthy way by trying new things in my practice and if they don’t come out right I am not going to belittle myself into correcting them I am going to treat myself by doing it again. It really is a privilege to be able to shoot for a living and although it’s been a tough road I know with discipline it gets better.